S.N.A.F.U.

My name is James Smith. Though a common name, I hope to lead an exceptional life. To this end, I chose to venture to the other side of the world; to the other side of a reality that consisted of pine oceans and snowy island peaks poking above the blanket of a New England winter. In my junior year of college, I found myself in Japan -- the result of a half-crazed idea to find myself by losing everything else.

Surprisingly, it worked. An important experience, it still paled to the greater truths I learned about the world. When it came time to say goodbye, I made only one promise to my friends -- the unique souls who unwittingly taught me more than a classroom had ever managed to impart -- not that I would write, or remember them; I promised that one day I would return.
For the next two and a half years, I devoted myself to learning the art of linguistics. My hope: to become a skilled, experienced, and talented teacher who would appeal to Japanese schools seeking an English teacher.

I worked as an editor and later a manager for the university newspaper, a philosophy tutor, and as a community (residential) adviser to gain more experience and earn enough money to scrape through the rest of school.

After graduation in May, I was finally able to apply for a teaching position. I chose a school called NOVA -- the largest English teaching school in Japan. Not only was I confident I could get a position there, the nearest recruiting office was in Boston, which put making the trip into my price range. The other schools that were hiring did their interviews in New York -- after a summer of bailing my family out of one financial crisis after another, my bank was nearly broke and I had to pin everything on one glorious attempt. I trust myself, and my abilities, though -- and so I took the gamble.

NOVA wanted me -- not only that, I would be hired to teach in southern Osaka, my stomping grounds during my stay there, and one of my favorite places in a country I truly enjoyed. My date to ship out was set: November 6, 2007. I only had to wait, and so I did -- through months of agonizing inactivity, promising myself that I would reward the lonely months of penance with karaoke, dinner at my favorite restaurants with friends, and other social interaction once I made it back overseas and lived my dream.

October 29th brought an end to my summer slumber with a single e-mail from the recruiting office in Boston: NOVA went bankrupt; their dishonest business practices having finally caught up with them strangling the life from an enormous corporation in less than a year after the first clouds of trouble glowered on the horizon. The bigger they are, the harder they fall I suppose. Dream dissipated even as I rubbed the sleep sand from my eyes.

Only one thing could disappoint me more than not keeping my promise: giving up. I had already made a list of all my alternative options; never the optimist, always prepared for a worst case scenario. Unfortunately, no options were viable -- teaching in Korea or China would take another six months and not only could I not handle that, my student loans have to start being paid back as of... tomorrow. Nowhere needed a writer. Nowhere needed an uncertified ESL Teacher. In my hometown, where the mill serves as the heart of the community and is about to beat its last, there is no work to find -- except for serving as a substitute teacher when the need and opportunity arises, to make just enough money to help out with the bills.

My choice is simple: give up now having achieved everything I ever will in life, and die as I would live -- day to day, a shadow on the wall that blends one day into the darkness. Become a townie, enjoy what pleasures I may, and forget that just beyond the half-grown mountains that circle this town lie peaks that scrape Heaven.

Or keep moving. Find a way to jump start my life, grin and bear everything fate and chance can throw at me and march forward until I am satisfied.



That is when I looked toward the path I had always feared to travel: the military needs people like me, with my unique talents, experiences, and determination. Now? I fear nothing. There are times when even poets must take up the sword. To achieve my dreams, and to help others achieve theirs I have chosen to cast away useless things like fear and hesitation.
This begins a new chapter of my life -- a chance to change myself and the world for the better, and I have chosen to take it.

My blog will detail my journey and where it takes me in this vast world where lives and fortunes can shift like the vagrant wind.

--James David Ross Smith